Family Problem

Due to COVID-19, you may lose work and spend more time at home, and DV (Domestic Violence) may increase at home. DV is the use of violence by hitting a lover or spouse (married partner, husband or wife).The word “Corona DV” is reported in newspapers and TV news both in Japan and abroad.
In Japan, there is a "law regarding the prevention of spousal violence and the protection of victims." The law does not allow violence, even if the partner is a partner. If violence occurs, it is decided to protect the victim.
There are various cases in DV. Husband, wife, or lover
□ hits and kicks.
□ says awful things.
□ says, "Don't contact someone you know."
□ doesn't put money in the home.

There are four points to identify people who are prone to DV
〇 The attitude changed when got married
The person who tends to do DV (hereafter "the person.)"is very kind to you when you meet him/her. Dates are short. But that person tries to get married early. Also, jealousy is strong. It makes you think, "I love you so much". Even if the people around you are against marriage, the person will somehow try to get you married. However, when you get married, the person's attitude changes.

〇 The person denies one's violence (does not recognize his/her violence)
The person does not feel like he/she is doing bad things' when he/she hits or hit you. "I'm not doing so terrible," "It's not violence". Then the person dones not admit that he/she lies and hits you.

〇The person blames other people
"I was asked to beat you," "I was violence to you because of alcohol," "I hit you to teach you what was wrong," and "I'm not happy to marry you because you are a bad person." The person is always trying to make you (victim of the DV) the perpetrator.

◯The person is a kind for people other than family
The person has a good reputation for outside people other than family, but he/she changes his/her attitude in front of you and your family. People think that “the person is diligent and family-oriented.”  Even if you tell the people around you (the victim) that you have been beaten, therefore, you may not believe that such a good person is...

Why can't you (victim) escape?
So what is the state of mind of the victim of violence? There is an opinion "Why can't you escape?" However, the victim is not "fleeing." "the victime CANNOT escape."
The longer you are beaten and badly spoken, the worse your mental health will be. You lose the ability to live. While being repeatedly told, "You are stupid! It's rubbish!", the victim's heart is hurt. Moral harassment is to hurt you (victim) with words or to make you (victim) think that "I am the worst person.
Violence has a cycle. Violence becomes worse or easier.For example, the perpetrator says or threatens words that hurt you (the victim). Then he/she will not only use bad words, but also hit you. And when things get worse, the person may bring a knife and say "I'll kill you" and bring. If you (the victim) say "separate (separate house)" or "divorce", the violence will be worse.

Then I thought, "I was bad. Let's do our best together and try again."
But violent people do not keep their promises. They tend to be kind and hit and repeat the same cycle. And violence becomes even worse. You (the victim) will be farther away from those who hurt you than before.
If you or someone you know is having trouble with DV, be courageous and consult the OIHF.
 

OIHF is available to discuss any difficulties or problems you face in your daily life caused by COVID-19.In addition, when advice is required from a professional perspective such as law, we will cooperate with the Okinawa Bar Association to provide advice on matters requiring a high degree of knowledge such as law regarding the life of the consultant.